Within my introduction I spoke about Anthropomorphising. Wikipedia defines this as being;
“Anthropomorphism or personification is any attribution of human characteristics (or characteristics assumed to belong only to humans) to other animals, non-living things, phenomena, material states, objects or abstract concepts, such as organizations, governments, spirits or deities“.
This will be my first topic when speaking about Narcissism (esp. Malignant).
First of all, I feel that I must clarify what I mean whenever I speak about Narcissism, specifically, Malignant Narcissism.
It is perfectly healthy to say that we all possess Narcissism – it would be folly of you to state otherwise. Narcissism, in small and balanced doses, ensures that we survive within a world that generally takes no prisoners. Babies are born to let their care givers know, one way or another, what they want and they want it now. They are completely reliant on their caregivers to provide them with everything they need in order to flourish and develop. Babies do not have the capacity to be their own provider nor do they have the capacity to consider that maybe one’s caregiver is needing a few more hours sleep before the next bottle or that their caregiver needs ten more minutes to finish their own meal before screaming the house down demanding to be fed.
Their needs come first, always with no consideration or awareness of others as separate beings with needs of their own. Everything and everyone is an extension of them and if they require an extension to fulfil one of their needs, then there is no compromise.
This is Narcissism in its purest and healthiest form.
Said baby is completely and utterly incapable to provide for themselves, is unaware that the world doesn’t revolve around them (quite frankly, the baby’s micro-world literally does revolve around him) and requires these requisites in order to flourish and develop into an independent, self aware and reciprocal adult. The key is that this form of Narcissism is for a limited period of time (with dregs usually tailing off completely mid twenties when all functioning parts of brain have kicked into action i.e. ‘maturity’ reserving a balanced and controlled level of Narcissism for progression and self worth) and is essential for that child’s development.
Development. Progression. Reciprocal. Independent (edit: I mean physical, for we are all inter connected). These are the goals for a healthy growth, reverting back to a more dependent, reliant life when entering the final chapter of one’s life (but certainly not to the extent of baby requirements, full ‘one way system’ of care would be reserved for those completely debilitated and this still doesn’t mean that their entire being is wholly Narcissistic, just that their needs require extensive one way care – I could elaborate but won’t just now).
Once a child has become aware of self and others and has cultivated the aforementioned goals, this then allows for that child to mature and further develop at a deeper level their empathy, world knowledge, understanding, integration and involvement with giving/sharing/learning/teaching. Narcissism at this point remains but in harmony with these goals and in partnership with deeper levels of being – at a minimum level for the sake of self progression. A successful journey through growth would be when all qualities are kept in balance.
A little too much empathy and you are a quivering wreck when in contact with anyone, full of self doubt, anxious, a total walking emotional time bomb who has the potential to self destruct or destroy relationships because of a lack of perspective reasoning – an overwhelmed walking emotion is no good for anyone.
A little too much reasoning and you become a robot, a complete automaton without any opportunity to savour the beauty that surrounds them through feeling it – a walking robot is not someone I would like to walk past me if I ever needed help. They just wouldn’t understand.
A little too much of anything is a bad thing, a little of anything is a bad thing – we want our porridge bowls to be filled with porridge of just the right temperature – and this takes alot of practice and alot of getting it wrong. But, the main thing is you practice, you get it wrong, you try again, you get it wrong and one day when you get it right you keep ahold of it and move on to the next challenge.
Malignant Narcissists don’t want a balance, they don’t want to practice to better themselves, they don’t want to develop. ‘Don’t want’ suggests that these individuals make a voluntary and conscious decision somewhere along the line.
Malignant Narcissists do not make a voluntary and conscious decision not to develop these human conditions because they believe that they were born superior and are way more advanced in the evolutionary eco system than the common human being – the only thing that they are pissed off about is the severely limiting body shackle they find themselves trapped in. The Malignant Narcissist believes ( read as ‘knows’ in their mind) that everything about them is one stage up (or more) in the evolutionary cycle than you. They don’t need to prove it, – they have the inside scope, of which, they think to themselves, you will never be privy to even if you re incarnate a thousand times over – you and others like you are mere cattle to their consuming needs. Malignant Narcissists are the ultimate consumers; they consume you and have no mechanism to switch off.
Human Beings are those with ‘potential to….x, y, z’. Being a MN are those that devour that potential.
If a person grows into adulthood and does not fulfil their own potential, but is aware that they could if they wanted to, and still acts like a debase human being then this is a whole different kettle of fish from a MN. The key to discerning between a MN and a person who acts in a debase manner is the awareness of potential and a complete disregard of it.
This kind of person, I will call the plug monkeys, will end their lives abruptly or live on in a wretched kind of existence where nothing is of value and people/things only exist for their next gratuitous need. Prison, destructive relationships, mind numbingly tedious work lives, basic pleasantries, violence, addictions, sexual promiscuities ad hom into etc. etc. – one extreme to the next….it doesn’t matter. The key is, when this person is bouncing from one thing to the next in their own personal chaos of choice, they know that there is something seriously wrong and it is up to them, and them alone, to figure out how to fix it so as to live within their full potential. Laziness of mind, body and soul or an unfortunate life path and an inability to figure out what is wrong means these plug monkeys carry on repeating the same thing over and over with the hope that one day ‘someone or something’ will intervene and save them by telling them what they need to do or what it is that needs fixed or even handing everything over to them on a plate without ever needing to self analyse (lottery anyone?).
However, these people aren’t Malignant Narcissists. They may, by their very actions and by your research, dictate that logically one must assign this label to them. But, one must really look to responsibility and if they, when presented with the tools/understanding/awareness, make a concerted effort – no matter how small – to change towards bettering themselves more in line with their potential….or choose not to.
Malignant Narcissists; there is no potential, there never has been and to even suggest that they possess it – a potential to improve what they already are – could result in severe trouble for you.
MN’s may try and hide this ‘higher being’ thought process from you by saying that they could definitely do things better next time, or they shouldn’t have done x, y, z and ‘Oh, I’ve been a terrible person.’
This, I call chameleon deception, will be discussed in another post.
The main point of this post is that the main reason why MN’s get away with so much is because we Anthropomorphise. We, as fully sentient and imperfect beings, project our own humanity onto these creatures because we are limited with our empathy – limited within a human rationale. Our experiential standpoint is, and always will be within this lifetime, from a human perspective. Our projections of our humanity allows us to maintain the illusion that each and every single one of us has the capacity and potential to be human.
We can not, for obvious reasons, fully understand that there are other ways of being – sure, we try but its clear for all to see that we apply human qualities on to non-human beings. This is not a failing, just a natural limitation that we, the humans, have. Because evil (inc. acts of) can be so debilitating to our psyche, then we try (queue pop psychology and its hippy parade) and either a./ make it as comical as possible (oooh the bogey man’s coming to get ya!) and/or b./ make it a by-product of x, y, z (thus placing full responsibility onto the victim/good person to ‘understand’ and ‘let it go’).
We have all been so conditioned to think of evil as a derivative, rather than a cause that should anyone utter the words “X is evil.” out loud then I ask you to listen to the gasps, tuts, steps backwards and thoughts that only “bad” people can think another person is evil.
Its just not logical and it further reminds me just how embedded Higher Authorities MN’s have programmed compliance and self regulation to keep everyone in fodder mode.
We project, Anthropomorphise, to understand and to uphold us as the superior race.
Stop doing this. You are not dealing with a cute puppy in a cowboy hat, friendly alien from Zog, goldfish called Larry, or a roadrunner – you are dealing with people who not only do not have human qualities, but are aware that they exist, can replicate them and use them to manipulate you into showing them your fleshy under belly for a right good feed. They possess their own ‘language’. I will explain later.
They project, Anti-thropomorphise, to survive. That is, they ricochet back your opposite of who really are.
Evil is, in and of itself, the pure opposite of truth. Evil (acts) flourish when truth is absent.
Truth flourishes when evil is absent.
Therefore, both are fully dependant on one another to survive.
Neither one can be eradicated without the destruction of both. Nothing-ness. Which means, its a balance that we are looking for.
Let me know what you think about this.